Posts made in December, 2006
How Gilmore am I?
The New Year seemed like a good time to assess, just how Gilmore am I? I haven’t set in my mind either Lorelai or Rory as my ultimate goal because I still want to be Sara. I just want to be a more Gilmore version of myself. I’ve been on this quest for about 6 months, & I would say that I’m about 28% Gilmore.
The look: I’ve grown my hair longer. I’ve started wearing shiny lip gloss & tighter jeans. I have a cute wool coat. I never could master the art of scarf wearing, maybe someday. I’ve finally learned to love my brown hair. I need to work on that milky skin of Rory’s though. I still don’t know how to achieve that except to have someone follow me around shining a flashlight over my head so I get that healthy glow. I also need shiny hair, my hair is shiny, it’s healthy, it’s just not Gilmore shiny.
Love life: Well, my love life is fairly unfulfilling, non-existent at times, complicated, & unproductive, so I’ve got that down.
Friends: I’m surrounded by a colorful group of friends in a small town. Plus my family is just a little bit crazy (if any of you are reading this, I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about the other people) so check on that.
Talking: I usually don’t talk a lot. Mostly because I’m too sarcastic & afraid of getting beat up. So I need to talk more & make my opinions known.
Not so current events: I feel like I’ve brushed up nicely on my obscure references, especially the books & authors. I want to continue the booklist. This year I really want to get into more music that isn’t played on the radio.
So there’s my New Year’s resolutions, shinier hair, wear a scarf & listen to music. It’s tough to be me sometimes.
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How to build a bjork snowperson: a step by step tutorial
Building a snow person that looks like Bjork is not for the faint of heart. There will be times when you can’t find any black licorice to use for eye liner. There will be times when you wonder if you are a bad aunt for changing the snowman your nephews & nieces so lovingly built. There will be times when no one asks you what you are doing because they are just so used to your quirkiness. There will be times when you wonder, “Maybe I’m taking things too far”. However, if you triumph you will have recreated one of the finest moments in all of “Gilmore Girls” history. After you decide that your nephews & nieces are now o.o.e.s.r. (out of emotional scaring range, in this case 4 hours. I finally decided when even their grandma was excitedly clapping her hands & helping me find a wig, it was time) you will need:
1. A Black wig. To get the Bjork bangs you may have to cut some of the front of the wig. (See? It takes dedication). My wig from Halloween already had sufficient bangs. It also helps if the wig is choppy looking. Buttons for eyes, & something to use for eyeliner. I had to use yarn because real eyeliner wouldn’t work & again I was lacking the licorice. A scarf or wrap of some sort. There are two versions of the Bjork snowman: one with “Mr. Potato Head Lips” & another with a licorice whip “stroke mouth”. I had to use the potato lips. I used a poncho to hide the snowman shape & hide the fact that Bjorkman had no arms.
2. Next you must get rid of all the snowman features. When you see Bjork you do not think snowman, so your Bjork shouldn’t scream snowman either. It helps if you deliver a few karate chops around the face to give that chiseled cheekbones look.
3. Now it’s time to add the face. It’s all about the eyes. The eyeliner should slant upwards. This was my only disappointment in the Bjorkman, I never could master it with the materials I had. For a nose, a small dab of snow works & the “Mr. Potato Head” lips.
4. Next it’s time for the details. You want people to know that you put a lot of effort into making your Bjorkman. Add sunglasses to the hair & an outfit that is not really snowperson friendly.
5. Take a picture & Photoshop it beyond all recognition. Sell art for millions.
Happy Holidays
For Christmas I wanted to give all of my blogging friends the funniest commercial I’ve ever seen. It was for Boston Market back in the 90′s & was a spoof of the Calvin Kline ads. I couldn’t find it though. I know, that’s like saying I was going to get you a car for Christmas, but I decided on a card instead. This isn’t even a real card, or even a proper e-card. If it was an e-card it would have special Scrolly fonts with vague sayings that communicate nothing & are hard to read.
Cut me some slack, it’s Christmas. Great now I’m just badgering my Christmas card reading audience. They don’t call me Sarakastic for nothing. Anyways, to the blogging world, thank you. Thank you to everyone who has left comments & comes to visit. I really appreciate it, & If I ever find that commercial, you will be the first to know. Happy Holidays Everyone! Have a very Gilmore Christmas! See how I used all those !’s? That was very Christmas-Cardy of me.
Disclaimer: Have a “Gilmore” Christmas at your own risk. It would probably involve eating pop tarts for dinner & dancing around the living room while various zany townspeople ran screaming through the neighborhood with Tom Waits playing in the background. Not for the faint of the heart. Opps, disclaimer’s aren’t very Christmas Card-y. Quick gotta save this. Ahh, the scripty font.
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